How Marriage Therapy Works • San Jose Couples Counseling

marriage-therapy-affair-help2Navigating the turbulent waters of a relationship after one partner has been unfaithful can be extremely painful. The most challenging part is maintaining an attitude of respect for by both the betrayer and the betrayed.

A good marriage therapist always has compassion for the partner who has been hurt. But if marriage therapy is going to to be successful in healing the wounds of the betrayal, the therapist must also have compassion and respect for the partner who has done the betraying.

How I Approach Marriage Therapy

In session, I like to participate and interact in a dialogue; not just sit back, ask questions, and take notes. My intention is to engage so we can creatively brain storm together and develop practical solutions that you can immediately apply after each session. Whether we are engaged in couples counseling or individual therapy, I see you and I as a team strategizing on how best to improve and optimize the specific challenges you have. I expect to work hard so that every session can provide solutions and the potential for change.

I tailor each therapy session to meet your immediate needs. It is my guiding principle that every person and each couple are unique and need to have therapy custom made just for them. I trust my own intuition as well as the preferences and inclinations of my clients to tell us what each therapy session should look like. This spontaneity combined with sensitivity makes my work kind, swift, exciting, and enlivening.

Theoretical Orientation

I have received training through my education in many theories of psychology. Because I appreciate specific aspects of each theory, I tend to use principles and practices from them on an as needed basis. I subscribe to a humanistic and transpersonal framework for marriage therapy.

In alignment with humanistic psychology, I treat people like human beings rather than relational and diagnostic categories. In the transpersonal sense, I view people as being comprised of mind, body, and spirit and appreciate the importance of finding fulfillment through extraordinary and exceptional human experiences that make our lives full and complete.

Approaches to Marriage Therapy

san-jose-marriage-counseling-2After 30 years of counseling, I still enjoy engaging with couples and helping them to improve their relationship. In addition to marriage therapy, I also do family and individual counseling because I’ve found that doing all three helps make me a more effective therapist because I am constantly immersed in the dynamics of relationship development and communication.

In terms of marriage therapy, the approach I use depends on the needs of the couple. The primary methods that I use include:

  • Solution focused and structural therapies, which are solution-based approaches that are good when a more future-oriented approach is needed.
  • Psychoanalytic, object relations, transgenerational, pluralistic, and narrative, all of which focus on issues stemming from childhood as the basis for problems in the relationship.
  • Cognitive behavioral, behavioral, integrative behavioral, emotionally focused, and ego analytical, which help with communication issues.
  • Bowen family systems, an approach during which the couples counselor becomes part of the relationship dynamic in session.
  • The Gottman approach, which focuses on the couple’s strengths as opposed to weaknesses.
    I usually blend a number of methods – often during a single session.

Techniques I Use In Couples Counseling

I tend to use techniques from different methods because that seems to work best for most couples. This can help couples to reduce conflicts quickly. Understanding how to resolve conflicts can also help you anticipate future problems and avoid them completely or resolve them more quickly. Many couples find they experience greater satisfaction from their relationships after attending counseling.

After 30 years of counseling, I still enjoy engaging with couples and helping them to improve their relationship. In addition to marriage therapy, I also do family and individual counseling because I’ve found that doing all three helps make me a more effective therapist because I am constantly immersed in the dynamics of relationship development and communication.

San Jose Couples Counseling and Marriage Therapy appointment

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Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy in the Silicon Valley including San Jose, Santa Clara, Los Gatos, Saratoga, Cupertino, Los Altos, Campbell, Sunnyvale, and Mountain View.

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