The History of Your Relationship • San Jose Couples Counseling

san-jose-marriage-counselingMost couples find they grow closer by talking about the happy events of their past.

The following is a questionnaire helps couples to connect with their fondness and admiration for each other.

Completing its questionnaire together will bring you face to face, once again, with the early years of your relationship, and help you remember how and why you became a couple.

You will need a few hours of uninterrupted time to complete this exercise. You can ask a close friend or relative to serve as interviewer, or you can just read the questions and talk about them together.

There are no right or wrong answers to these questions – they are merely meant to guide you in recalling the love and perspective on marriage that led you to join your lives in the first place. If you are in couples therapy, it would very helpful to discuss your answers with your therapist.

Recalling the Past

Most couples find that recalling their past together recharges their relationship in the here and now. Answering these questions often reminds couples of the love and great expectations that inspired their decision to be together in the first place.

This can give couples who are trying to rekindle their feelings glimmerings of hope. Repeating this exercise from time to time can help strengthen your fondness and admiration for each other.

Your Couple’s Memories

  1. san-jose-marriage-counseling-4Discuss how the two of you met and got together. Was there anything about your partner that made him or her stand out? What were your first impressions of each other?
  2. What do you remember most about when you were first dating? What stands out? How long did you know each other before you decided to get married? What do you remember of this period? What were some of the highlights? Some of the tensions? What types of things did you do together?
  3. Talk about how you decided to get married or enter into a committed relationship. Of all the people in the world, what led you to decide that this was the person you wanted to make a commitment to? Was it an easy decision? Was it a difficult decision? Were you in love? Talk about this time.
  4. If you’re married, do you remember your wedding? Talk to each other about your memories. Did you have a honeymoon? What do you remember about it?
  5. What do you remember about the first year you were together? Were there any adjustments you needed to make?
  6. If you are parents, what about the transition to becoming parents? Talk to each other about this period of your relationship. What was it like for the two of you?
  7. Looking back over the years, what moments stand out as the really I happy times in your relationship? What is a good time for you as a couple? Has this changed over the years?
  8. Many relationships go through periods of ups and downs. Would you say that this is true of yours? Can you describe some of these periods?
  9. Looking back over the years, what moments stand out as the really hard times in your relationship? Why do you think you stayed together? How did you get through these difficult times?
  10. Have you ceased doing things together that once gave you pleasure? Discuss this with each other.

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